In today's fast-paced corporate world, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the abundance of jargon and buzzwords thrown around in meetings and emails. This can make it difficult to understand exactly what is being communicated and can lead to confusion and misunderstandings.
However, there is a solution to this problem: bust the jargon, cut the corporate speak and get to the point. One effective way to achieve this is to use plain English and avoid using complex terminology that may not be understood by everyone.
In fact, using such language can actually be counterproductive, as it can make you appear arrogant and unapproachable to your colleagues and clients. Instead, focus on using clear, concise language that is easy to understand and conveys your message effectively.
So, next time you find yourself reaching for that buzzword-filled phrase, take a step back and consider whether there is a simpler, more direct way to express yourself. By doing so, you'll not only avoid the irritation of your colleagues but also ensure that your message is received loud and clear.
Here's a useful corporate dictionary for the understandably confused:
Secret sauce = the thing that gives your business a competitive advantage that you'd rather keep close to your chest; sounds excitingly venereal to the foul minded
Non-hierarchical = everyone's a potential scapegoat
Collaboration = when the good carry the bad, and everyone gets the credit
Innovation = what we'd better be doing while we're playing ping pong and lounging on beanbags on company time
Standing meetings = because office space in Soho is £70 per square foot
BYOD (bring your own device) = no, your company won't be buying you a £749 iPhone X
Onboarding = someone take the new kid out for a sandwich, for god's sake
Unlimited annual leave = a new-age form of departmental peer pressure
Employee benefits = care about me as much as I do and I might stay longer
Employee engagement = a strategic display of emotional intelligence by the senior management team
Remote working = because sometimes I just want to do my job in a fleece onesie and not be judged
IM (instant messaging) = silent social skills killer
Ideate = If you ever find yourself typing this, just stop right there. Turn the computer off and go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.
Corporate culture = strategic and collective effort to conceal our inner arsehole
Reach out = contact
Cascade = forward
Put a pin in it = that's up there with the worst idea you've ever had
Going forward = another way of saying 'in future' or 'from now on', because the two existing phrases weren't good enough
Wheelhouse = "That's not in my wheelhouse" = "I don't have a bloody clue"
"Well, that's a great question" = something said by Americans before answering every question ever asked
